


The Shane Problem

by purpleandgreen



Series: Harvey and Jerusha [5]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, POV Harvey (Stardew Valley), Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29093550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleandgreen/pseuds/purpleandgreen
Summary: Shane is back on Barrowbank Farm.
Relationships: Harvey/Female Player (Stardew Valley)
Series: Harvey and Jerusha [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114730
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

Tuesday dawns with an impressive storm that has been raging through the night and shows no signs of abating. It's today that Shane is meant to be here to look after the chickens. 

The rain comes down in sheets, with thunder crashing a mere second after an initial lightning flash. My umbrella is useless against this downpour and I’m soaked to the skin when I reach Barrowbank Farm. 

Jerusha opens the front door with her usual welcoming smile, “Goodness Harvey, you’re sopping wet!”

“Comes with the weather.” I smile, kissing her in greeting, water from my hair dripping onto her face as I do so. She shakes her head, “Hey, I had a shower already today!” 

I take my raincoat and shoes off in the porch, trying not to drip on the floor as I join Jerusha in the kitchen. She hands me a coffee, hot and black. The bitter aroma fills my nostrils and the hot mug warms my hands. Even though it’s warm outside the rain has leached the warmth from my skin and left me shivering with my clothes clinging to me like a second skin. It’s still early summer and the full warmth of that season hasn’t come in yet. 

“What time is he supposed to be here?” 

He texted me earlier, said he’s going to be late.”

“Wasn’t he meant to be here at 10?” 

“He’s probably struggling through the rain, like you did.”

“I managed to get here on time.” My eyebrow raises at Jerusha, indicating my displeasure. 

“Harvey…”

“Sorry, you’re right, I’m being overly critical.”

“Harvey,” She takes my hand, “I need this to work. Shane’s the perfect candidate for this job and I need the time off.”

“I know.” I’m trying to be a supportive, understanding boyfriend, but my anxiety about this situation is high, knowing Shane’s previous record where it came to Jerusha. 

Shane saunters up to the farmhouse at 11.10. He’s also soaking wet but doesn’t take his shoes off when he enters the farmhouse without knocking. He’s dripping all over the floor I observe, but keep my mouth shut, for Jerusha’s sake.

“Hey Shane.” Jerusha greets him with a warm smile, not unlike the one she gave me earlier. I feel a twinge. How could I have possibly thought that she kept warm welcomes only for me? 

“Coffee?”

Shane grunts a reply in the affirmative accepting a steaming mug from Jerusha’s hands. He ignores me.

Bear, who hasn’t set nose outside the house since my arrival, walks to the door, growling low in his throat when he passes Shane. I notice that his tail is not wagging.  
I get up to let him out into the storm, ruffling his ears as I do so. His tail moves and he nuzzles his nose into my hand before trotting outside. 

As I walk by Shane, I can smell alcohol coming off him in waves. I wrinkle my nose but keep silent. 

“Okay, here’s the itinerary for the chickens.” Jerusha hands Shane a piece of paper that is covered with her untidy scrawl. “I’ve already fed them this morning, since you were late, but I haven’t collected eggs yet or cleaned the coop and then, well, it’s all on the list - you’ll see. I’ll be here in the farmhouse today if you need me at any time. Think of today as a trial.”

“Oh, it’s already a trial.” Shane says, for the first time looking at me. 

“Thank you, Shane for doing this. It’s going to free up some time for me and Harvey to spend some time together.”

Shane rolls his eyes, “Okay. Whatever.”

I open the door of the farmhouse for him watching as he becomes a grey, ghostly figure through the rain. 

I lean on the door heavily. “Well, that went rather well I thought.”

Jerusha laughs, “He’s usually a bit more verbose when you’re not around.”

“I bet he is.”

“So, did you have anything planned for the rest of the day? I thought that we could watch a movie after lunch.”

“Um.”

“No? Board game? TV? I’m out of ideas now. God, that makes me sound very uncreative.”

“Er, here’s the thing.” My hand went automatically to the back of my neck, “I- I took deep tissue massage as an elective at University. I thought that, with all the work you’ve been doing on the farm, you might appreciate a massage for those aching, over-worked shoulder muscles.”

She stares. “Are you sure? Don’t tease me Harvey because that sounds like heaven right now.”

“Yep.” I fish a small bottle out of my coat pocket, “Got some oil and everything.”

“God, you’re confident all of a sudden. I like this new you!”

“Yeah, well. I’m actually good at this but haven’t done it in a while so forgive me if I’m a little rusty.”

“Yoba, Harvey, if you ever need a guinea pig to help with your massage technique, just call on me!"

I laugh nervously, “Let’s see how today goes, come here and sit on the floor in front of the couch.”

I sit on the couch and Jerusha settles between my knees putting her dark hair up into a ponytail. 

“Can you take off your top please?” My voice is hoarse. I wonder if this is a good idea.

She removes her t-shirt giving me access to her torso underneath, “Would you mind if I slid your bra straps down over your arms?”

“Sure Harvey.” Her voice is quiet, even, but I notice that she’s breathing more quickly.

I move the straps of her black bra away revealing her bare shoulders. 

I warm the massage oil in my hands, the strong smell of menthol and ginger permeating the space between Jerusha and I. I’ve chosen these scents because they’re meant to help with tired, aching limbs. I’m not overly convinced about the efficacy of aromatherapy, but the smells help relax the person being massaged so I picked these out for Jerusha especially.

“Please tell me if I’m hurting you.” I whisper.

I start to feel out the muscles in her shoulders and upper back. The farm work has left her knotted and tense. I start to grow in confidence. This is something I know I can help with. 

I press hard into the muscle of her trapezius on both sides of her spine, working out the knots and tension. She hisses. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it feels so good. Don’t stop.” She groans.

My fingers push and pull the knots smoothing them out. Digging deep into her flesh, she groans in response to my work and starts to relax into my touch. It takes some time but eventually her shoulders feel loosened, the tension she was holding there melts away.

I move lower down her back to the lower trapezoid muscle before it meets the latissimus dorsi. I’m struggling with working round her bra. Frustrated Jerusha says, “I can take off the bra Harvey.”

I breathe in deeply and sharply, “Ye-Yeah, that’d be great.”

She reaches round to unhook the clasp, I gently move her fingers away, “Want some help?” 

“Thanks”

With only slightly shaking hands I undo her bra and she pulls it off, putting it on her lap. 

“You okay?” She asks without turning to look at me when I don’t immediately restart touching her.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” I’m stalling for a few moments to recover my composure. This is a big step for both of us. “You?”

“Yes.” She reaches over her shoulders to hold my hands, “Yes. I’m more than good.”

“Want me to continue?” I breathe.

“Please.”

I know she doesn’t want to push me into anything, but at this moment, I want nothing more than for her to give me permission to take this further, but I’m not at the stage to instigate that myself.

I steady my breathing, concentrating hard and continue to work on her. I lean over and start on her lower back and on to her arms.

After another half hour or so, I’m satisfied that I’ve done a good job and that Jerusha will be much less stiff in the morning when she wakes. 

“I think you’re done.” I smile at her deeply contented sigh. 

“Mmm, Harvey that was wonderful. I feel so much better now.” She rolls her shoulders experimentally, “Mmm, SO much better.”

“Good. You’re worth it.” 

She lazily reaches up her arms to wrap round the back of my neck and she twists to kiss me. 

One of my hands strokes her neck then around to her throat. 

And then Shane comes in.

“Ah!” I yelp.

“Shane!”

“Oh Yoba” Shane drawls, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Jerusha, who is scrambling back into her t-shirt.

“Shane, can you knock next time?!” 

“Whatever, I’m all done. Here’s your eggs.” He barges into the farmhouse without being invited and places a basket on the kitchen counter.

Jerusha is blushing and I imagine that my face is a deeper shade of red. 

There is an uncomfortable silence.

“You gonna pay me or what?” 

“Oh Yoba, yes Shane, of course!” Jerusha gets to her feet to fetch some money in an envelope from the kitchen drawer and hands it over to Shane. 

“Thanks Jer.” I cringe at his familiarity, “See you at the bar tonight?! First round is on me!” He shakes the envelope at her. 

“May- maybe some other night Shane?” Jerusha gasps.

“See you there!” He whispers something in her ear that I don’t catch, looks at me and laughs and then abruptly leaves, slamming the door as he goes. 

I take a couple of calming breaths and stride out of the door after him, “Shane!”

He ignores me, hands thrust in the pockets of his hoodie, head down, heading for Marnie’s farm. I catch up to him. 

“Shane. Stop.”

Shane spins around to face me. “What do you want doc? Want me to say I’m happy for you? Want my congratulations? Well, congrats. You’re so fucking happy, I get it.”

“All I want is for you to treat Jerusha with respect whilst you’re on her farm.”

He growls, “I always treat her with respect.”

I adjust the glasses on my nose, “Come on Shane, we both know that’s not true.”

“What did she tell you?”

“Enough for me to make sure that I was here with her today.”

“I apologised for that! I was totalled and stupid.”

“I know. Don’t ever let it happen again.”

“Jerusha knows we’re fine. I was having a bad day, that’s all.”

Look, if you’re struggling, that offer of counselling in Zuzu still stands. If the drinking is becoming a problem, it’ll help I promise.”

“I told you doc, I’m fine. Leave it.”

“Shane.”

“Spare me the fucking lecture doc! I’m not interested and it’s none of your business.”

“Everyone’s health in this town is my business.”

“Fuck off Harvey.”

“You know, you’re not representing Jas very well right now. Girls need positive male role models and that is not you.” It’s a low blow. I shouldn’t have said it, and the look on his face and the flash of anger in his eyes tells me how much it hurt. I can’t take it back however and Shane throws his hands up. “I’m out.” He states and walks briskly away.

I stay on the path for a few moments watching Shane go. This isn’t how I should be interacting with my patients, insulting them when they may have to rely on me in the future. I sigh, I needed to be better than this. I’d never liked Shane, but I should not let my personal feelings towards someone get in the way of the patient doctor relationship. This was on me.

Back at the farmhouse, Jerusha has dressed again, and is waiting for me.

“What was that about?” 

“Nothing.” 

“He’s doing his best Harvey. He’s got a boat load of problems.”

“You’d never let me get away with what you let him get away with.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

I can’t get anything right today, regardless I plough on. 

“The way he speaks to you, his lack of respect. You wouldn’t tolerate that from me.”

Jerusha looks genuinely miffed. “Yoba Harvey, you’re my boyfriend! Of course, I wouldn’t take it from you!”

Oh.

“I don’t really care what Shane does; I’m not invested in him. The only reason I ‘tolerate’ him is because he is great with the chickens! Harvey,” She squints at me, “Are you jealous?”

I could lie at this point, I could make out I didn’t care about Jerusha’s and Shane’s friendship, that I didn’t notice how he looks at her. But I did. A relationship between the two of them would have so much going for it. He’s younger than me and even though he drinks too much, and has some problems, they don’t seem as insurmountable as some of mine. I bet Shane wouldn’t have made Jerusha wait as long as I have to take her to bed.

“Yeah, I’m jealous. I can’t help it. You’re so great, so perfect. I feel like I’m constantly punching above my weight. I guess I don’t believe I deserve you.”

“Harvey,” Jerusha says gravely, “You need to accept we’re together, and quick. Here’s the deal; I’m not going to wait around for you to decide you’re good enough for me, because I made that decision long ago. I was around you for a year before I gave you that bouquet. You think I didn’t weigh up the situation before I made that decision? You seriously believe I didn’t think long and hard about that?”

I lean heavily on the kitchen counter. “I hadn’t thought,”

She steps to me, grabbing my hands, “I know you hadn’t. You were too busy worrying about it, that you didn’t see it from my viewpoint. Harvey, I love you, you idiot.”

“You… Wait what?”

“You heard me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey meets Kent at the Saloon.  
> He also bumps intoShane.

All air leaves my lungs and I have to sit on one of the stools in the kitchen, “You, love..?”

“Yes, Harvey.” Her cheeks are a beautiful shade of pink and she starts to look at bit flustered, “I-if you’re not ready to say it back, that’s fine.”

“No, I am, I’ve been ready for so long, but I didn’t know if you were ready!”

The tension breaks as we both laugh, “I love you Jerusha”. I wrap my hands around the small of her back and pull her in for a kiss, “I love you.” I murmur into her lips between kisses. 

My phone goes off. It’s a text from the unknown number I’ve been receiving for the last few weeks. I’m starting to have suspicions as to the author of the messages I’ve been getting, but this confirms it. 

*Don’t ever speak to me about my god-daughter again, you prick.*

“Yeah, it’s Shane.” I say out loud.

“What is?” 

“The sender of the messages you and I have been getting. It’s Shane.”

Jerusha looks at me sceptically, “Come on Harvey, how do you know?”

Ugh, this wasn’t going to be easy. I wanted Jerusha to always think the best of me and I was certainly not proud of what I’d said to Shane earlier.

“When I went to talk to him outside, I said some things that I shouldn’t have. I told him that, that he wasn’t being a good role model for Jas.”

“Yoba Harvey.”

“Yeah, I let my jealousy get in the way and I was completely unprofessional.”

“Plus, that aspect of his life is none of your business.”

“Don’t rub it in.” I say feeling worse by the minute, “I did offer him some counselling.”

“I’m sure that helped.” She pats my face comfortingly. I don’t feel comforted.

“I’d best get back to the clinic, Maru will be waiting to close up.”

“Are you coming back for dinner?”

“Sweetheart, I’d love to, but I’m at Stardrop Saloon tonight with Kent.”

“Is that happening again? You must have made an impression!”

I sigh, “Yeah. It’s a shame it can’t be that easy with everyone.”

I walk back to the clinic through the continuing rainstorm, considering the actions I’d taken earlier with Shane. He’ll be at the bar tonight, I should apologise. Part of me feels that I don’t owe him anything. He’d been a complete dick with Jerusha in the past and I was having a hard time looking past that. I’m going to have to keep an eye on myself in the future. Jealousy can kill a relationship and I didn’t want anything to get in the way of Jerusha and I moving forward together, or risk damaging my career.

**~~**~~**~~

Kent is standing in the corner of the saloon when I enter that evening. He waves and indicates the table next to him, where I see two beers. He shakes my hand, and we sit down.  
“Thanks for the drink Kent.” The weather has got significantly hotter as the day progressed despite the rain and the heat in the bar was stifling. Everyone was feeling it, Gus, still wearing his beige jacket was red in the face, and Emily was wearing shorts and a tank top rather than her usual work dress. Pam keeps putting her glass of beer to her forehead to cool off. 

I sip my beer, enjoying the cold liquid hitting my throat. “How’s everything?”

We’d been sitting in silence for a few minutes. Kent gulping at his glass.

He looks at me, “Not great Doc. Went to try and get my old job back yesterday.”

“What was your job?”

“I was in refuse collection. Don’t you remember?”

“I- I’d forgotten. Sorry Kent.”

“It’s fine Harv.”

I hate having my name shortened but I didn’t correct him, “So what happened?” I prompt.

“They said they weren’t looking for anyone right now. I could tell they were lying. Lots of us coming back from the war are having trouble finding jobs. They think we’re all mentally unstable, especially if we were in the camps. It’s the third time I’ve been there and about my thirtieth job attempt.” 

“Yoba Kent, that’s awful. Is there nothing in the valley?”

“Nope. Not even with Jojamart.”

“Well, I’ll keep a look out for you.”

Thanks Limey.”

At that moment Shane wanders in. He doesn’t see me at first, I’m not in my usual spot at the bar, but once he has a beer in hand and is stood next to the fireplace, he spots me. For a moment he blinks, as if he can’t quite trust his eyes to tell him the truth. As the fact settles in his mind, he can’t help but stare at what I’m sure is the odd sight of Kent and I sharing a couple of beers. 

“Kent, will you excuse me for a minute? I need to talk to Shane.”

“Sure thing Doc.”

I have no idea what I’m going to say to him. As I cross the bar room, he rolls his eyes at me and turns to the bar to lean on it as if to block me out. “Hey Shane,”

“Not now doc. I’m not interested in anything you want to say to me.” He tips the shot Gus brings him into his beer and takes a couple of gulps.

“Not even if it is an apology?”

“Buy me a beer and I’ll think about forgiving you.”

I look at him. His cheeks appear hollow and there are dark circles under his eyes, he seems to have lost weight recently, his usually stocky frame has lost some of its robustness. He looks fragile. His sclera have a yellowish tinge to them, a sure sign that his liver is struggling. “You know I’m not going to do that Shane.”

“Then piss off.” He shrugs his shoulder as if to physically move me out of his personal space.

“I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you before, I was completely out of line.” 

The shoulders slump and Shane seems to collapse into himself, crumpling like a shot deer. “Nah, Doc, you were right. I am a waste of space. Jas deserves better.”

“Shane that’s not what I said.”

“I know what you said Doc. It’s what you meant though.”

“Shane, I wasn’t implying anything like that. I – I was jealous of yours and Jerusha’s friendship. I’m not proud of it, but I was trying to hurt you. I’m genuinely sorry it- it won’t happen again.”

“Whatever. It’s fine. Doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Okay Shane. Just remember that the offer of counselling is always open to you. You don’t need to suffer in silence. Just give me the nod and I’ll book you in.”

“Gus, can I have a bottle of whiskey to go?”

Gus brings him a bottle without a murmur.

“Gus! Don’t enable him!” I narrow my eyes at Gus.

“He’s fine Doc, he does this every Tuesday. Never more than one a week, isn’t that right Shane?”

“You gotcha boss.”

He takes the bottle, attempts to fit it into the pocket of his hoodie. Fails and starts to walk out swinging the bottle in his hand. “See you Doc.”

I return to Kent who was watching the whole incident. “Hey Doc, what was that all about?”

“Um, I was a bit unprofessional with Shane earlier. I went to apologise.”

“Ah, is this because of his hopeless crush on your farmer friend?”

I turn to look at him, “How did you know about that?” 

“Oh Yoba Doc, everyone in town knows he’s in love with her.” 

“I didn’t.”

“Doc, not to be a dick, but you don’t pick up on social cues very well.”

Maru tells me that all the time, “I have been told.” I chuckle, then I frown. “Wow. So, everyone knew about this except me? Did, um Jerusha know?”

Kent shrugs his shoulders. ”She could probably answer that better than I could Doc.”

I take off my glasses and clean them on the handkerchief I kept in my pocket thinking about Jerusha. How long had she known about Shane’s crush? DID she know? It seemed to me that his drunken pass at her had meant a lot more than just sex. If Kent was right, he was actually in love with her, and as far as I knew, she’d never discouraged it. Knowing all that she still gave him a job on the farm. 

But she’d promised me that she wouldn’t put herself in a situation that might put her at risk with Shane again, AND she told me she loved me. I had to be content with that.

There was still an uncomfortable twinge of jealousy in my brain.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane's 6 heart event retold in the context of this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - Suicide

Kent kept the conversation going for the rest of the evening. He’s suddenly very amiable towards me, but I don’t know how long these meetings can continue. We have absolutely nothing in common except our war experiences and I don’t want to spend every one of our meetings raking over those particular coals. 

He’s talking about the latest gridball game and I’m doing my best to follow along. Like many men, he frames his emotions through sports. His anger at certain events in the game is palpable, but I know there’s an underlying cause for his reaction. 

“Kent,” I say softly, interrupting his flow which is becoming increasingly agitated. “This isn’t about the game is it?”

Kent’s blond head slumps, “Ah, Doc. I dunno. I’m trying to do what you said, be a good example to my boys, but I just hang around the house all day. No Job, no goals, and things between Jodie and me are still… tense.”

“Kent, you’ve not been back for long. Give it time. I know you’re impatient to get back to normalcy, but you’ve been through so much. Stop punishing yourself.”

To my surprise a tear runs down Kent’s face. “Hey,” I urge, touching him on the shoulder, “Its fine to feel this way. You’re hurting Kent. It’s part of the healing. You’re at the beginning of a long journey, but it will get better.”

“It’s so tough.”

“I know.”

Later, walking home after wishing Kent good night at the door of the bar, I’m surprised to find myself crying as well. The last few weeks have been… a lot. It’s all a bit overwhelming and seeing Kent in a situation I was very familiar with had brought back many of the ghosts I thought I had laid to rest until recently. I would really like the rest of the summer to go without any hitches, to be able to enjoy mine and Jerusha’s new stage of our relationship with no further dramas.

Back at my apartment I shook a couple of Xanax into my hand and swallowed them before retiring to bed for the night and falling into a fitful sleep. 

I awake to the sound of my phone ringing. Dammit. It must be an emergency. No one ever calls this late unless things are bad. 

Cursing the timing of such an event, I fumble round for my glasses and am puzzled when Jerusha’s name flashes on the phone screen. Why is she calling so late?

“Hey, are you…”

I don’t have time to finish the question.

“Harvey” Jerusha gasps, “Get to the cliffs now! It’s Shane. He’s in a bad way!”

“On my way.” 

I hurriedly pull my clothes on and grab my bag from the office. Still reaching into the sleeve on my coat I step out into the rain.

The storm has increased in force since earlier, rain coming down in a wall of water, wind tearing at my clothes. It makes getting anywhere quickly almost impossible, but I battle through, my flashlight only just lighting the path in front of me. 

I reach the cliffs, but can’t see anyone, “Jerusha!” I shout through the maelstrom, “Jerusha!”

At first I can’t hear any reply, but eventually I make out a faint voice calling my name through the downpour. I follow the sound and find Jerusha kneeling on the ground in front of a prone figure. I can’t tell if he’s breathing or not. When she turns to face me, her eyes are red and her face is streaked with rain and tears.

“Jerusha! What happened?”

When I get closer the scene becomes clearer. Shane is certainly in a bad way, as Jerusha had described. He’s surrounded by beer cans and that whiskey bottle Gus gave him earlier. There is a bottle of Tylenol in his hand.

Thankfully, he’s been sick. A small puddle in front of his face contains the undigested remains of a few pills. There’s vomit on his face and in his hair. Oh Shane.

“I found him like this, but he was a bit more lucid. He was talking about throwing himself off the cliffs. Yoba Harvey, this is too awful.” Jerusha pushes a sopping strand of hair out of her face and buries her head in her hands. 

“Did you put him in the recovery position?”

“Yes, but I can’t lift him, otherwise I would have brought him to you.”

“Well done. I’ll take it from here. You go home if you want to. Get out of those wet clothes. I’ll call you later.”

“No, Harvey, I’m staying.” I glance at her. She has a stubborn look in her eyes. I decide this is not the place to argue.

“Okay, can you hold the flashlight please?”

I feel for a heartbeat in Shane’s neck. His pulse is sluggish, but at least he’s breathing. I need to get him back to my clinic and assess him properly.

Shane groans, “Shane, it’s Doctor Harvey. Can you hear me?”

He groans again but is not coherent. 

I turn him over and scoop him into my arms. He’s a short man, but by no means light and I stagger slightly under his weight. 

“Is he going to be alright?” Jerusha jogs to catch up with me.

I look at her fearfully, “Jerusha, I don’t know. I’ll do everything I can.”

The rain and wind aren’t helping with the burden and I have to stop every ten metres of so to catch my breath and shift the unconscious man in my arms. As I struggle, my mind is asking a hundred questions. Why was Jerusha here with him? What did he say to her? Why did it end up in this situation? Is this my fault? I curse myself for the comments I’d made to him earlier. 

Shane shifts in my arms and I almost lose my grip on him as more fluid comes from his mouth. A couple more pills slide down his face and onto the path below my feet. My shirt, already sodden, is now warm with Shane’s vomit.

“Come on Shane, bring it all up.” I mutter through a clenched jaw, but there’s no more and his body lapses back into unconsciousness.

It takes what feels like forever to get to the clinic. “Jerusha,” I gasp breathlessly, “Keys are in my right coat pocket can you...?”

Nodding grimly, Jerusha fishes out the door keys and I stumble into the clinic, thankfully divesting myself of Shane’s weight on the examination table. 

I turn to Jerusha, “Love, I’m going to have to pump his stomach. Its not a pretty process and I don’t think you should see it. Go up to my room, get a shower and you can use my bed. Grab whatever clothes will fit you from the drawers. I’ll let you know the minute anything changes.”

She’s sobbing, but doesn’t argue, leaving waterlogged footprints in her wake as she leaves the room.

There’s no time to be lost. I don’t know how much Tylenol Shane has taken and even if he survives, his organs might be irreparably damaged.

I conduct a quick examination; his reflexes are slow and his pupils horribly and unnaturally dilated. 

I scrub up and make a mental note to tell Maru when next she’s ordering meds to get the Tylenol antidote in stock. I don’t want to ever have to repeat this procedure. 

I gather the materials needed and administer a short acting local anaesthetic into Shane’s neck to numb the area. Unpacking the gastric tube after listening to Shane’s airways to make sure they’re clear I push the tube down his throat and into his stomach.

Shane groans at the pressure but doesn’t wake. 

Satisfied that the tube is in the correct place, I use one of the saline-filled syringes to push fluid into his stomach and then pull on the syringe to extract the liquid from his stomach. I fill several large syringes worth of fluid until I’m satisfied that he’s empty. It takes about 30 minutes. 

I gently pull the tube from his throat and check his vitals again. His heartbeat is steadier now, and though still slow, it’s not decreased in rhythm. He’s breathing fine and I hope that he’s out of danger, with no major lasting effects from the alcohol and drug in his system.

I put a tourniquet on his arm and insert a cannula in case he should need fluids later. 

Then I do the most difficult part of this kind of job.

I call Marnie.

“Hello?” Her voice is thick, mumbling. I know I’ve just woken her. “Marnie, it’s Doctor Harvey here.”

“Is he dead?” 

How much did she know about Shane’s struggle? 

“No. He’s safe at the clinic. Jerusha found him at the cliffs. Overdosed. I’ve had to pump his stomach, but he’d already vomited, so I think he’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be right over.” 

“Marnie, there’s nothing you can do tonight. He’s sleeping now, I just wanted you to know what happened. I’ll call you again in the morning and you should be able to come and pick him up. All I can do now is watch and wait to see how he is.”

There is a loud sniffle at the other end of the line, “Please don’t worry Marnie, we got to him in time I hope. I’ll call you later.”

“Thank you, Doc.” 

I return to my patient. Unbidden a feeling of revulsion creeps over me. Personally, suicide has always been a touchy subject. My father, whilst not having taken his own life actively, had simply given up after my mother died. He’d sunken into a depression, neglecting me and eventually abandoning me in death. I’d always thought of people who attempted and succeeded at suicide as cowards, unable to face up to their responsibilities. It was not a professional opinion, but a deeply ingrained personal one and an opinion I wasn’t proud of holding. Shane lying on the examination table was a reminder of my own loss and pain, feelings I didn’t want to deal with right now. 

I sighed. If Marnie was coming to collect him in the morning, the least I could do is make him look presentable and get him out of his wet clothes. I went upstairs to my room and grabbed a tee shirt and pajama bottoms. Jerusha is asleep, exhausted by the night’s exertions and I get what I need quietly without disturbing her. 

Once Shane is dry and warm in my clothes, I carry him into the hospital room and make him comfortable in one of the beds there. He’s going to feel dreadful in the morning and I hook him up to 250mls of saline to help rehydrate him and I also take some blood to send to the lab in the morning to check no permanent damage has been done. Then I grab my laptop and pull up a chair, ready to face the next few hours with him. I don’t want him to wake up alone; however much I disliked him and his actions.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marnie comes to pick up Shane.

Hours later, he stirs. I’m so involved in catching up in work, that I don’t notice for a few seconds, until I hear him groan. I’d only done his obs ten minutes before and was happy with his progress.

“Hi Shane, how are you feeling?”

“Like a pig shat in my head.” His voice is hoarse from the earlier procedure.

“Do you know where you are?” I ask gently, not wanting him to panic. 

“Well, you’re here, so it must be hell.”

I roll my eyes, “Do you remember what happened last night?”

“Yoba Doc. What’s with all the questions? My throat is killing me, can I have some water?”

I fill up a cup from the water cooler and hand it to him. He takes the cup, but his hands shake so badly he spills. I take it off him. 

“Shane, can you sit up a little?”

“I- I think so-“

I lean my hip on the side of the bed and cradle his head on my side, lifting the cup to his lips. He drinks thirstily, “Not too much now, take it slow.”

He leans back his thirst slaked and closing his eyes, draws an arm across his face to block out the light. “So, as well as being a failure at everything else, I can’t even manage to kill myself properly?”

“You’re not a failure Shane, you’re not well. You’re struggling and need help.”

“Yeah.” He gazes into the middle distance. It's obvious I'm not welcome here.

Jerusha appears at the door. If I wasn’t so concerned about Shane’s state of mind, I would have taken a moment to appreciate how adorable Jerusha looked wearing one of my tee shirts, it hangs on her like a dress, showing off her legs. 

“Hey love, come on in.”

She takes a chair at the other side of the bed from me and grabs Shane’s hand. I jolt, wanting to tell her to let go of his hand and come to kiss me instead, to thank me for saving his life. I feel underappreciated and awkward.

“How’re you doing Shane?” She whispers tearfully.

“Hey Jer.” He smiles warmly, but winces through it. “I’m okay. Still here.”

“I’m glad.” Her tears take control over her composure, and she cries into his hand. “I was so worried.” Her head meets his chest as she leans into him.

Suddenly I feel like I’m intruding. The moment of intimacy between them is overwhelming. I make an excuse and get out of the room.

Leaning against the wall in the corridor, my breath short, I struggle to regain control over myself. I just saved Shane’s life and Jerusha hardly acknowledged me? What was that about? The waves of jealousy that flow over me make me feel physically nauseous. I stagger into the patient bathroom and retch into the sink, dry heaving. There’s nothing to bring up, but the physical action of purge makes me feel better and better able to cope. 

I rinse my face in the sink waiting a few moments until my eyes become less red rimmed. 

I take a deep breath, pull myself together and go back towards the hospital room.

Before I can get there, there is a knock at the door. I open it to find Marnie standing there. She looks dishevelled and pale-faced. “Doctor Harvey.” She acknowledges me. 

“Hi Marnie, come in. Thanks for coming to pick him up.” I pull the door open for her.

“How is he doc?”

“He’s awake. I’ve taken some blood to check his organ function, but he seems to have come through relatively unscathed. He’s very lucky.”

“Can I take him home?”

“Of course. Make sure that he drinks lots of fluid today, no alcohol, and definitely no paracetamol-based pain killers like Tylenol. Nothing too heavy to eat, soup will be perfect. I’ll see him again next week, providing his bloods are fine.”

“Thank you, Harvey and thank you for keeping him with us.”

“No problem Marne, that’s my job. If only we could fix his mind as easily, eh?” It’s a feeble joke, but Marnie has the good grace to smile. 

“Can I see him?”

Yes, Jerusha’s in with him, but I’m sure they won’t mind being interrupted.” Oof, that came out a little more forcefully than I intended. Marnie squints at me but says nothing.

“Hey.” I say after entering the room, “Marnie’s here.”

Shane blushes a deep red, “I’m – I’m so sorry Marnie.”

She approaches the bed but doesn’t touch him. “Thought we’d lost you this time.”

“Can’t get rid of me that easy.”

Jerusha hauls herself to her feet, “Sweetheart.” I chide striding round the bed and holding her gently by the shoulders, her eyes are ringed with dark circles below eyes red from fatigue and weeping, “You are exhausted, go back to bed for a couple of hours. I’ll come and make you some breakfast shortly. How’s that sound?”

She nods weakly and trails up the stairs to my apartment.

I turn to Marnie, “I’ve got some meds for him. His usual antidepressants and something for anxiety.” I hand her the small paper bag that I’d left earlier on the bedside unit. I also give her Shane’s clothes, which are dry and neatly folded in a small bundle along with his phone.

I turn to the man in the bed. “Ready to go? We’ll get you up slowly and if you’re ok, Marnie will drive you home.”

I place my hand firmly under his elbow and help him into a sitting position. He’s weak, but that’s to be expected. He probably won’t feel great for a few days. He groans and holds his head for a few seconds.

“Okay?” I duck my head to look into his eyes for affirmation.

He nods.

“Right, just bring your feet over the side of the bed, then stop. Don’t try and stand just yet. Just get a sense of what’s happening with your body.”

He shakes my hand from his arm. “I’m fine Doc, stop fussing.” He attempts to stand but the effort defeats him, and his knees give way. I catch him under the arms, “It's okay, I got you.” Helping him back onto the bed. 

“You love being right don’t you Doc?”

“Not really Shane, no”

I want him out of my clinic. His presence here leaves the place with a heavy air of darkness, as if he’s drawing all the light into himself, absorbing all joy. He’s upset Jerusha beyond measure, Marnie is standing near, tight-lipped and sombre and I’m fighting to keep myself from giving him a lecture about how suicide affects those left behind. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but feel loathing at this man’s presence and I can’t wait to be rid of him. 

“Take some breaths Shane, and we’ll try again in a moment.”

“I think I’m gonna be sick.”

I grab one of the cardboard bowls from a cupboard for him to vomit in. I’m almost too late, but thankfully get it to him in time. 

He retches into the bowl; I’m surprised at my lack of compassion. He’s clearly struggling. 

Placing my hand on his back I try and speak kindly, “Easy now. You’ve had a rough night and it’s going to take a few days until you’re back to full strength. We’ll try again soon.”  
Shane coughs and spits into the bowl, “Nah, I want to go home Doc. Let’s do this.”

I take the bowl from him and place it on the bed. Slowly and declining any help from me, Shane hauls himself to standing and takes a couple of tentative steps.

I nod to Marnie and she puts her arm through his and agonisingly slowly, gets him to the car and drives away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter coming soon.
> 
> Sorry if Harvey's attitude to suicide is triggering for some. He's flawed and damaged too, so it's almost forgiveable.   
> If you're feeling bad and life is tough, please don't hesitate to talk to someone, anyone. Believe me, life is better with you in it. <3
> 
> Use this page if you need someone to talk to in your country.
> 
> https://www.suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html
> 
> I've really struggled with chapters 3 and 4 for personal reasons but this event was always part of my main arc for the story.   
> I'm not a doctor so can't attest to the accuracy of any of the medical scenes I write, Google is my medical friend.
> 
> As always comments and Kudos welcome and gratefully accepted.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tha aftermath of Shane's imcident at the cliffs.  
> AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED  
> No smut. Sorry, I'd be sh*t at it anyway. :)

I do a cursory tidy up of the clinic but decide that my time would be better spent checking on Jerusha. I’ll deal with the physical mess left behind by Shane later once I’d dealt with the emotional toll his actions had taken.

Grabbing some fresh clothes from the dresser, I go into my bathroom and glance at my reflection in the mirror, Yoba, what a mess. My shirt is rumpled and stained from the rain and Shane being sick down me on the way to clinic. It also stinks. My hair has screwed itself into tight curls after being in the storm last night and I desperately need a shave.

I strip and get into the shower feeling the warmth of the water wash away all the night’s troubles. 

Dressing, I decided to not open clinic that day. I’m here for emergencies, but I have no appointments booked so the day is essentially free. 

Jerusha is still sleeping in my bed, so I make for the sofa intending to take a nap. I’ve left my glasses in the bathroom. Without them I can’t see much. I bump into the coffee table and swear loudly.

“Harvey?” Jerusha’s face emerges from the covers, bleary eyed and sleepy.

“Ugh, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“That’s okay. How’s Shane?”

“He’s fine.” It sticks in my craw that he’s the first thing on her mind. “Marnie took him home to sleep it all off.”

“Thank Yoba.” She’s not a believer but she speaks fervently.

I cough nervously and perch on the bed, “Are you okay? You- you want to talk about what happened last night?” I reach to her and move a strand of hair off her face.

“Only if you join me?” 

I hesitate, “I don’t think there’s room.”

When I moved to Stardew Valley, I had nothing. A few clothes stuffed into a rucksack, some small personal effects. The apartment above the clinic had a few bits and pieces of furniture, but no bed. It was the first thing I bought from Robin after a couple of uncomfortable nights on the floor. She had frowned at my request.

“You sure you don’t want the double bed Doc? There’s no Mrs Doctor coming to join us in Pelican?”

“No.” I said firmly, pursing my lips to avoid further questions. “I’ll have the single please.” 

“Suit yourself Doc. Come and see me if that changes.” Robin waggles her eyebrows at me and I frown in disapproval. She sighs, “It’ll be ready by Wednesday.”

The bed had become a symbol of my independence, and my loneliness. After Megan and everything else, I couldn’t face even the thought of being in another relationship, so I threw myself into my work and kept my distance from all the townspeople.

Jerusha had changed all that and now here she is, in my bed, holding up the covers inviting me to join her. I start to feel overwhelmed and look away from her. Ashamed by my reaction.

“Harvey.” She gently chides. “Nothing more, just join me? I could really do with your support now after everything that happened last night.” Her eyes are glistening, and I realise she’s on the verge of crying again. She asks so little from me, and I’ve asked so much of her, I swallow al my fears and clamber into the bed beside her. 

I lay on my back awkwardly trying to minimise physical touch. It’s impossible in this confined space and Jerusha almost falls off the other side of the bed scooting away to make room for me. She dashes her arm out scrabbling for something to hold onto, and I grab her hand as she almost disappears over the edge and pull her to me. 

I haul Jerusha hard and she’s hoisted back onto the bed. She throws out the other arm to save herself and that arm sprawls across my chest, her leg over mine. It’s the closest we’ve ever been, and she looks at me in a panic; scared at what my reaction might be. 

To my own and obviously Jerusha’s surprise, judging by the way her eyes widen, I can’t help myself. 

I giggle.

Jerusha stares at me open-mouthed for a moment and then joins in. After a minute we’re roaring laughing for no reason except a release of the tension of the previous night and once we start we can’t stop. One of us calms, then catches the others’ eye and we fall into peals of laughter again.

There are tears in Jerusha’s eyes but suddenly I realise that she’s started crying through her laughter and the mood shifts again. Both of us struggling for composure.

“Oh Yoba Harvey, we shouldn’t be doing this after all that happened last night.”

“Apart from what I know, what DID happen last night?”

She sniffs and lays her head on my shoulder, her hand still on my chest. 

I lower my chin and kiss her hair in encouragement. 

“Shane called me around 9.30 last night. Asked me to meet him on the cliffs. He sounded in a really bad way. Slurring his words, getting confused. I was worried what was going to happen to him out there, drunk and alone in that awful storm. So, I went to find him.”

“Why didn’t you call me? You promised not to be alone with him.” I didn’t mean my tone to sound accusatory, but it did.

“You were with Kent, I didn’t want to bother you when you’ve made such progress with him.”

“Love, always call me. You’re my priority.”

“I will.”

She kisses me just under the jawline near my ear and I shiver unintentionally.

“When I found him, he was slumped on the ground, but still coherent. He was swigging from that bottle of whiskey, like it was Joja Cola. He told me that he was… he was in love with me.”

I nodded. 

“Wait. You knew?”

“Yeah,” I say gently, “Kent told me last night. I had my suspicions after what you told me, but I hadn’t realised that he was actually IN LOVE with you.”

“Yeah. Me neither. I didn’t know what to say, with him in that state. I could never see him like that but didn’t want to give him the ‘friendzone’ speech. I didn’t want to upset him any further. He told me he was a waste of life and that there was nothing stopping him from throwing himself off the cliff edge. So, I reminded him that Jas needed him and he should stick around for her. Harvey, he, he tried to kiss me again and I shoved him. He got angry and started getting really agitated. He yelled and threw the empty whiskey bottle at me.”

“Yoba, did he hurt you?”

“No, he was too drunk to aim properly. He stopped making sense after that and I tried to get him away from the edge of the cliff, but he collapsed and threw up the pills I didn't knwo he'd taken. That’s when I called you.”

“Oh love, that must have been utterly horrible. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“It’s – it’s okay. I can’t…” She can’t continue as the full weight of the night takes over and she cries again tucking her face against my jaw and weeping bitterly.

I slip my hand under her neck and put my arm around her pulling her even closer and rubbing her back in comfort. 

We stay like that until she cries herself out. Her tears have soaked through my T-shirt but her breathing is steadying and evens out eventually. 

“It’s okay.” I whisper to her, “You’ll never have to deal with anything like this alone again. I told you I’ll always be here for you and I’ll never break that promise. Shane’s alive because of you. You saved his life. I don’t know if you know but you saved mine as well. Thank you for that.”

Her head lolls slightly and I realise she’s asleep. I kiss her tenderly on the forehead and hug her close until sleep overtakes me too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> New part to this story coming later this week.

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to improve my writing, but also trying to write without zealously over-editing, so this work is all written without too much tweaking.  
> Thank you for sticking with me so far!  
> New chapter coming soon.  
> Comments, criticism and kudos always welcome!


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